18 Signs of Validation and Overly Approval-Seeking Behavior in Men

Introduction

In a world where self-assurance is often seen as a hallmark of success, the quiet struggle with validation and approval-seeking can undermine even the most outwardly confident men.

While everyone likes to feel appreciated, an excessive need for validation can indicate deeper emotional insecurities and can drastically affect one’s personal and professional life.

This article dives into 18 signs of such behaviors in men, shedding light on how these tendencies manifest and what they can mean for one’s relationships and self-esteem.

The concept of validation and approval-seeking behaviors in men encompasses various signs that indicate an excessive need for external reassurance.

Recognizing these behaviors is crucial for personal growth and fostering healthy relationships. Signs include seeking constant reassurance, fear of disagreement, and regular self-doubt. Men exhibiting these behaviors may also show an overemphasis on appearance, people-pleasing tendencies, and a strong reliance on social media validation.

Difficulty making independent decisions, frequent comparison with others, and a need for status symbols are additional signs to watch for. Understanding and addressing these behaviors can lead to increased self-confidence and more authentic connections with others.

Concepts: Validation, Need for Approval, Approval Seeking Behaviour, To Validate or Not

The idea of seeking validation and approval through our actions and behaviors.

Validation and approval-seeking behaviors in men refer to the excessive need for external validation and reassurance. These behaviors often stem from deep-rooted insecurities and a lack of self-confidence. Men exhibiting these behaviors may constantly seek others’ approval to feel validated and worthy.

This need for validation can lead to an ongoing cycle of seeking external reassurance to feel good about themselves. Understanding the concept of validation and approval-seeking behaviors is essential in recognizing and addressing these tendencies to foster personal growth and develop healthier relationships.

Explain why recognizing these behaviors is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships
Recognizing validation and approval-seeking behaviors in men is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships as it allows individuals to address underlying insecurities and build self-confidence.

By acknowledging these behaviors, men can work on developing a more authentic sense of self-worth and reduce the reliance on external validation. Understanding these tendencies can also help in fostering healthier relationships, as men learn to communicate and connect from a place of self-assurance rather than seeking constant approval.

Recognizing and addressing these behaviors enable men to cultivate more genuine interactions, improve self-esteem, and establish stronger, more fulfilling relationships based on mutual respect and trust.

1. Constant Reassurance Seeking & meaning in Relationship

Someone who constantly seeks reassurance may exhibit behaviors such as seeking approval for every decision, action, or opinion. This individual may frequently seek validation from others to feel secure in their choices.

They might doubt themselves and lack confidence in their abilities without external confirmation. Constantly asking for reassurance can indicate a deep-seated need for the validation of others and approval, leading to dependency on others for a sense of self-worth.

This behavior can hinder personal growth by preventing the development of independent decision-making skills and self-assurance, due to an over-reliance on the validation of others. Seeking constant reassurance may also strain relationships by placing a heavy burden on others to constantly provide validation.

One of the most apparent signs of approval-seeking behavior is a constant need for reassurance. Men displaying this trait may frequently ask for feedback on their work or decisions, even when it involves trivial matters.

This incessant need stems from a deep-seated doubt about their abilities and decisions, driven by the validation of others. It’s not merely about making the right choice; it’s about affirming their judgment through the eyes of others.

Example: A man might ask his partner multiple times whether his outfit looks good or repeatedly ask colleagues if his work is up to par, even after receiving affirmative responses.

Impact: Understanding these 18 signs can help in identifying and addressing validation-seeking behaviors. This behavior can be exhausting for those around him and gradually erode his own confidence, as he comes to rely less on his judgment and more on external validation.

2. Excessive Agreeableness Or Always available Partner

Excessive agreeableness in men may manifest as always prioritizing others’ needs and opinions over their own. They might struggle to assert themselves or express differing views to maintain harmony.

This behavior can lead to suppressing their true thoughts and feelings to avoid conflict or disapproval. Men exhibiting excessive agreeableness may struggle to set boundaries, often seeking the approval of others and sacrificing their own desires for the sake of pleasing others.

This can result in feeling unfulfilled and lacking a sense of autonomy in decision-making. Over time, this pattern may erode self-confidence and hinder authentic self-expression and personal growth.

While agreeableness is generally a positive trait, in excess, it becomes a symptom of deeper approval-seeking tendencies. Men who are overly agreeable often suppress their own opinions and agree with others just to be liked or to avoid conflict.

Impact: This behavior not only stifles genuine interaction but also prevents them from standing firm in their beliefs, which is crucial for personal and professional growth.

3. Fear of Disagreement OR Avoiding Conflicts

Men with a fear of disagreement often avoid expressing their true opinions to prevent conflicts. They tend to prioritize maintaining harmony over voicing their genuine thoughts, leading to a lack of assertiveness. This fear may stem from a desire to be liked or accepted by others, causing them to shy away from differing viewpoints.

As a result, these men may struggle to engage in healthy debates or stand up for their beliefs, potentially hindering their personal growth and the development of authentic relationships. Overcoming this fear is crucial for building confidence and fostering open communication with others.

Closely related to excessive agreeableness is the fear of disagreement. Men who fear conflict may go to great lengths to avoid opposing opinions, seeing them as a threat to their acceptance in a group.

Impact: This can lead to a lack of authentic relationships and may prevent them from expressing their true selves, as they prioritize harmony over honesty.

4. Regular Self-Doubt Due To Over Dependence

Men who exhibit regular self-doubt often struggle with low confidence and insecurity in their abilities. They may second-guess their decisions, question their worth, and doubt their skills, leading to hesitation in taking action. This constant questioning of oneself can hinder personal growth and prevent them from reaching their full potential.

Seeking validation from others becomes a common coping mechanism to alleviate these feelings of doubt. Overcoming regular self-doubt involves building self-esteem, practicing self-compassion, and recognizing and challenging negative thought patterns. Developing a strong sense of self-assurance can help men break free from the cycle of self-doubt and embrace their capabilities.

Regular self-doubt is another hallmark of those who overly seek approval. This often manifests as an inability to trust their instincts or to make decisions without extensive external input.

Impact: Over time, this can lead to a crippling dependence on others for validation, impacting personal independence and self-assurance.

5. Overemphasis on Appearance Or Insecurities

Individuals who place an excessive focus on their appearance often prioritize external validation over internal satisfaction. This behavior can manifest in a constant preoccupation with grooming, fashion, and physical attributes.

They may invest significant time and resources into enhancing their looks to gain approval from others. This overemphasis on appearance can indicate underlying insecurities and a reliance on external validation for self-worth, which may affect validation in a relationship.

Such individuals may seek compliments and affirmation based on their looks rather than their character or abilities, often seeking validation in relationships. It is important to recognize the impact of this behavior on self-esteem and to prioritize inner qualities over outward appearances, aiming to stop seeking validation from others.

An obsessive focus on physical appearance can also indicate a need for the validation of others. Men might spend an excessive amount of time and resources on their looks, not just for self-satisfaction but as a means to attract and secure external approval.

Impact: This behavior can lead to persistent dissatisfaction with one’s self-image and an unhealthy fixation on how others perceive them.

6. People-Pleasing & Need for Attention

Individuals who engage in people-pleasing behaviors often prioritize the desires and expectations of others over their own needs. They may struggle to say no, fearing rejection or conflict. This tendency can lead to feelings of resentment and exhaustion as they constantly seek approval from others.

People-pleasers strive to maintain harmony in relationships, even at the expense of their own well-being. They may go to great lengths to meet the demands of others, neglecting their own boundaries and authenticity.

Over time, this behavior can erode self-esteem and hinder personal growth. Learning to set boundaries and prioritize self-care is crucial in breaking free from people-pleasing tendencies.

People-pleasing goes beyond basic kindness; it’s a compulsive behavior where men prioritize the happiness of others at the expense of their own well-being. This is often to avoid confrontation and gain approval, hinting at low self-esteem and the need for constant validation.

Impact: This behavior can lead to burnout and resentment as these men continually neglect their own needs and desires.

7. Social Media Obsession & Conforming to Norms

Individuals exhibiting overly approval-seeking behavior may display a social media obsession. They constantly seek validation and affirmation through likes, comments, and shares on their posts. Their self-worth becomes closely tied to their online presence, leading to a constant need for external validation.

They may feel anxious or inadequate if their posts do not receive the desired attention. This obsession with social media can hinder genuine connections and authentic self-expression, as they prioritize curating a perfect image for others to admire. Seeking approval through virtual interactions can create a sense of emptiness and insecurity in real-life relationships.

An obsession with social media likes, shares, and comments can be a clear sign of seeking validation. Men might curate their online presence meticulously to garner approval, often portraying an idealized version of their lives.

Impact: This can lead to dissatisfaction with real life and exacerbate feelings of inadequacy when their actual experiences don’t match the online facade.

8. Difficulty Making Decisions Independently

Individuals who struggle with making decisions independently often rely heavily on others’ opinions. They may fear making the wrong choice and seek validation from external sources. This behavior can stem from a lack of self-confidence or a need for constant reassurance.

When faced with decisions, they may experience a sense of overwhelm and indecisiveness, leading to delays in taking action. Ultimately, this reliance on others for decision-making can hinder personal growth and autonomy.

Developing the ability to trust their instincts and make choices based on their values can help individuals break free from the cycle of seeking approval from others.

Men who struggle to make decisions without consulting others exhibit a reliance on external approval. They may feel incapable of deciding without input, reflecting a lack of trust in their own judgment and often seeking validation from another person’s perspective.

Impact: This can hinder personal growth and lead to dependency, where one’s self-assurance is constantly outsourced to another person’s approval.

9. Frequent Comparison with Others

Individuals exhibiting overly approval-seeking behavior often engage in frequent comparison with others. They constantly measure their success, appearance, or relationships against those of others, seeking validation and reassurance.

This behavior can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth. By constantly comparing themselves to others, individuals may overlook their own strengths and unique qualities.

Over time, this habit can become detrimental to their mental health and overall well-being, it’s often an issue rooted in emotional needs. Breaking free from the cycle of comparison is crucial for developing a strong sense of self and cultivating genuine self-confidence.

Constant comparison with peers, whether in terms of career success, lifestyle, or personal achievements, can indicate an unhealthy need for validation and approval of others.

Impact: This often leads to feelings of jealousy and inadequacy, and can diminish one’s sense of individual worth.

10. Need for Status Symbols

Individuals who exhibit overly approval-seeking behavior often have a strong need for status symbols. They value material possessions, job titles, or social connections that can make them appear successful in the eyes of others.

This need for external symbols of status can stem from a deep-seated insecurity or desire for validation from peers. Such individuals may prioritize acquiring expensive items or flaunting their achievements to gain approval and recognition, indicating 18 signs of seeking external validation.

However, relying on status symbols for validation can lead to shallow relationships and a lack of genuine self-worth. It is essential for individuals to look beyond material markers of success and focus on building internal confidence and authentic connections.

Acquiring expensive items or flaunting status symbols can be an attempt to gain social approval and affirm one’s success.

Impact: This behavior may mask deep insecurities and can create financial stress if it’s beyond one’s means.

11. Fishing for Compliments

Individuals who engage in fishing for compliments often seek constant validation and reassurance from others about their abilities, appearance, or achievements. They may use subtle or direct tactics to prompt others to praise them. This behavior can indicate a deep-seated insecurity or a constant need for external validation.

Fishing for compliments can become a habit, leading individuals to rely on external praise to feel good about themselves. It may also indicate a lack of genuine self-confidence and a constant craving for attention and validation from others. Such behavior can impact relationships and hinder personal growth if not addressed.

This involves crafting situations or framing conversations in a way that is likely to elicit compliments or positive feedback.

Impact: It can strain relationships as others may feel manipulated or grow weary of constant affirmation.

12. Manipulative Behaviors for Approval

Individuals displaying manipulative behaviors for approval may resort to deceit, guilt-tripping, or emotional manipulation to gain validation from others, which mean in a relationship they create toxic dynamics. They might use tactics such as playing the victim, gaslighting, or creating drama to elicit sympathy or attention.

This behavior can harm relationships and erode trust over time, disrupting validation in a relationship. By manipulating situations or emotions to seek approval, they fail to form authentic connections based on mutual respect.

Manipulative behaviors often stem from insecurity and a deep-seated need for external validation. Recognizing these tactics is crucial in maintaining healthy boundaries and fostering genuine relationships built on one another’s trust and honesty.

Some men may resort to manipulation, such as guilt-tripping or playing the victim, to secure sympathy and approval from others.

Impact: This can create toxic relationships based on deceit and conditional love.

13. Over-Reliance on Relationship Status

Individuals who exhibit an over-reliance on their relationship status place significant importance on how their romantic partnerships are perceived by others. They might constantly seek validation through showcasing their relationship on social media or defining their worth based on their partner’s accomplishments.

This behavior can indicate a lack of self-worth and independence outside of the relationship. Overly focusing on relationship status can lead to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy when the relationship faces challenges or ends.

It is essential for individuals to cultivate a strong sense of self-worth and fulfillment independent of their relationship status to maintain healthy personal growth and relationships.

Defining one’s self-worth primarily through relationship status or romantic success is a strong indicator of approval-seeking behavior and low self-esteem, driven by a need for the validation of others.

Impact: This can lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics where personal value is contingent on being partnered.

14. Excessive Competitiveness

Individuals who display excessive competitiveness often prioritize winning and outperforming others above all else. They may constantly compare themselves to those around them, feeling threatened by the success of others. This behavior can stem from low self-esteem and a deep need for external validation.

Excessively competitive individuals may go to great lengths to prove their superiority, even at the expense of relationships and ethical boundaries, reflecting their emotional needs for validation. Their relentless drive to win can lead to unhealthy rivalries and strained interactions with others.

It is important for individuals exhibiting this behavior to address the underlying insecurities driving their competitiveness and focus on personal growth rather than constantly seeking validation through competition.

While healthy competition can be motivating, an excessive need to outperform others at all costs can stem from a desire for external validation and a need for approval.

Impact: This can alienate colleagues and friends, foster a stressful environment, and highlight one’s need for approval.

15. Oversharing Personal Achievements

Individuals who overshare their personal achievements often seek validation and approval from others by constantly highlighting their successes. They may feel the need to impress or gain recognition, leading them to share every detail of their accomplishments.

Oversharing personal achievements can sometimes come across as boastful or arrogant, turning others off or create important for individuals who overshare their personal achievements to consider the impact of their actions on others and focus on genuine connections rather than seeking constant approval through flaunting their successes.

Men may overshare their successes to gain recognition and validation from others, often to an extent that feels disproportionate or inappropriate.

Impact: This can lead to social isolation as peers may view the behavior as boastful or self-centered, often reflecting a need for approval.

16. Sensitivity to Criticism

Individuals demonstrating sensitivity to criticism are easily affected by negative feedback or differing opinions. They may get defensive, feel attacked, or become overly emotional when receiving critiques. This behavior can stem from a fragile self-esteem or a deep fear of rejection.

Such individuals may struggle to handle constructive criticism and tend to take feedback personally. Sensitivity to criticism can hinder personal growth and impede the ability to learn from mistakes. It often leads to defensiveness, avoidance of challenging situations, and difficulty in accepting one’s flaws.

Addressing this behavior involves building resilience, self-confidence, and a healthy acceptance of feedback for continuous improvement. Excessive sensitivity to criticism may indicate a fragile sense of self that heavily relies on external validation.

Impact: It can hinder personal and professional development as constructive feedback is dismissed or not well received.

17. Neglecting Personal Values

When individuals neglect their personal values, they prioritize seeking approval over staying true to themselves. This behavior can lead to inner conflict and a sense of disconnection from their authentic selves. They may compromise their beliefs, morals, and principles in exchange for external validation.

Neglecting personal values erodes self-respect and diminishes individuality. It can result in a lack of fulfillment and a constant need for reassurance from others. By disregarding their values to gain approval, individuals risk losing a sense of identity and integrity.

It’s essential to uphold personal values and boundaries to foster self-respect and genuine relationships. Men may neglect or compromise their personal values if they believe doing so will earn them approval or acceptance from others.

Impact: This can lead to internal conflict and a loss of personal identity.

18. Changing Opinions to Match Others

Individuals displaying overly approval-seeking behavior may constantly change their opinions to align with those around them. They lack the confidence to hold firm to their beliefs and values, preferring to mirror the views of others to gain acceptance.

This behavior stems from a deep-seated need for validation and can lead to a loss of authenticity. By constantly adapting their opinions to match others, individuals compromise their integrity and sense of self. This pattern of behavior can result in a lack of identity and may hinder personal growth and genuine connections.

It is essential for individuals to cultivate self-assurance and stand by their convictions, even in the face of differing opinions. Frequently changing opinions or agreeing with popular views solely to fit in or be liked is a sign of validation-seeking behavior, reflecting emotional needs for approval.

Impact: It undermines intellectual integrity and prevents genuine connections based on shared beliefs.

Reflection

In conclusion, recognizing the signs of overly approval-seeking behavior in men is crucial for personal growth and relationship health. These signs include seeking constant reassurance, excessive agreeableness, fear of disagreement, regular self-doubt, overemphasis on appearance, people-pleasing tendencies, social media obsession, difficulty making independent decisions, frequent comparison with others, need for status symbols, fishing for compliments, manipulative behaviors for approval, over-reliance on relationship status, excessive competitiveness, oversharing personal achievements, sensitivity to criticism, neglecting personal values, and changing opinions to match others. Being aware of these behaviors can help individuals work towards building genuine self-confidence and authentic relationships, without relying on the validation of others.

Recognizing these signs in oneself or others is the first step toward addressing them. It’s important for men to learn to appreciate their intrinsic worth and develop a sense of validation that comes from within rather than from external sources, helping them to stop seeking approval of others. Encouraging personal growth, seeking professional help, and engaging in honest self-reflection are vital steps in overcoming the dependency on external approval. Let’s encourage more discussions around these behaviors to foster healthier relationships and self-esteem.

The journey to overcoming the need for excessive external validation involves cultivating self-awareness, enhancing self-esteem, and learning to appreciate one’s intrinsic worth. By addressing these behaviors, men can develop healthier relationships, both with themselves and others, and enjoy a more authentic life. Encouraging open conversations about these issues can help those struggling to feel supported and understood.

We invite you to share your experiences with overcoming approval-seeking behaviors, emotional needs, and the validation of others in the comments below. Your story could inspire others to embark on their own journey of self-discovery and improvement.